Mantra

To say that the last two months have been one of the most trying periods in my life is an understatement. The people closest to me have watched me bury myself entirely in my work, and to suffer immeasurably as a result. I work over ten hours almost everyday. I am the first person in the office, and usually the last one out. I haven't taken a true hour-long lunch break in weeks. Most days, I'm so exhausted that I usually just go home, have something to eat, and then collapse into bed. I recognize that this is a cold, hard reality for a lot of New Yorkers, but it's just taking a long time for me to adjust to this new lifestyle and workload. Some days I wish I was unemployed or, at the very least, not so addicted to caffeine. And then I chide myself for being stupid, especially when there are people that are depending on me to survive.

There's a quote by Henry David Thoreau that I've been absentmindedly reciting to myself every now and then: "It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." Sometimes when I'm staring bleakly at my desktop monitor, asking myself why oh why am I working so damn hard, I remind myself to stop and take a figurative step back. This isn't work, but an opportunity. These aren't strangers that I'm randomly calling, but potential sources of revenue and long-standing meaningful relationships on Wall Street. Sounds a little cheesy, but I think Thoreau's quote has become my mantra...or something. It's the one little thing I cling to in order to keep my eye on the big cash prize. And when I hit that deal, I'll go out for that long-awaited, TWO-hour-long lunch I know I deserve.