No Time!

Snarkcraft

Whoa! These past two weeks have been a complete whirlwind of chaos and change and good news. A lot of things happening at once. This will probably sound like a total blogtease, but I just came on to say: 1) hello! and 2) I won't be blogging for a while, I think. If February and March were all about reflection, then April's shaping up to be all about action. Putting all of that introspection and moments of eye-opening realizations to good use. Putting my intellect, hard work, and unfailing spiritedness to good use. I can't say it enough, but I can't believe my good fortune. I am so lucky. And so grateful! Ahh! Can't put together coherent sentences right now! No time, no time! But happier than ever.

P.S. I wrote this all in the span of five minutes, so I apologize if it came across as a complete stream of consciousness. Because it totally was.

Grasses

Two pieces of news:

1) I got grasses! They're Prada. I'm fancy.

2) I'm no longer unemployed! Again, fancy. And probably the reason why I can afford Prada grasses.

That's all, folks.

Mellifluous

I'm actually one of the few people out there that enjoys rainy days. I like how my apartment, already darkened by our chocolate hardwood floors and brown furniture, descends even further into this cozy darkness. It's an excuse to light vanilla candles all over (Phantom of the Opera-style), make a steaming pot of coffee, and catch up on magazine reading and bills from last week. The candlelight makes it feel very Old World, which I secretly like. But OK! Magazine totally brings it back to the present, of course.

The other day I reached the very last page of the Moleskine notebook I've been keeping since December 2009. The end of an era. Since I started it, I've been keeping a running list of vocabulary words that I come across and like. Not necessarily difficult SAT-esque words, but words that strike me as interesting in some way or another. It's not like I try to use them on a day-to-day basis (bifurcate? dirigible?), but the simple act of writing 'em down helps me to remember them. And that's all I want to do. Remember. 

Sometimes I can even remember where I was when I wrote down a certain word. I know I jotted down "octogenarian" -- a person in their eighties -- after reading an article on the awesomeness that is Betty White (and she really is awesome). And "mellifluous" -- having a smooth, rich, musical flow -- came during a concert at a wine bar when the singer announced we were in for a "mellifluous hour and a half" (and he ended up being true to his word). Maybe that's why I write certain words down. Like little thumbtacks saluting me from the road map of 2010, they remind me of where I've been and what I've learned.

P.S. Fun fact: I don't dot my "I's." Not even in my own name!

Two Mirrors

The Photodiarist

"But you've never wanted that. You wanted a mirror. People want nothing but mirrors around them. To reflect them while they're reflecting too. You know, like the senseless infinity you get from two mirrors facing each other across a narrow passage. Usually in the more vulgar kind of hotels. Reflections of reflections and echoes of echoes." - The Fountainhead

This is usually how I feel when I meet someone new for the first time. As a default, I expect them to be the kind of person that's only talking to me because they want to hear themselves talk. They want an audience. They want a mirror reflecting their own mirror reflecting mine reflecting theirs, and so on and so forth. I know it's completely unfair, but lately I just can't help it. Sometimes I feel like I'm meeting the same person over and over again. And it's really getting to me. I used to be doe-eyed and overeager, almost throwing my whole being into a conversation with a new person. Now I just don't give a shit. Well, that's putting it a little harshly. I care. I still want to get to know you better. I just no longer expect to be surprised, is all. It's a snobbish arrogance on my part, as if I'm the keeper of all the wisdom in the world. But I'm too keenly aware of who I am as an individual, and I guess a lot of people still aren't. And may never want to find out. I don't fault them. I just don't have the patience for it any longer.

And We're Back!

Back in the interview game ;)

What You Know

I can't embed the actual music video, but here's the live version. Such a great song. I can tell just what you want...
It's not that I'm forgetting to blog, but right now, I'm actively choosing not to. The opportunity for a month of self-reflection, a month to tune out the noise and listen to my doubtful heart, has given me more clarity than I could have ever imagined. And I'd be greatly diminishing the value of this newfound clearheadedness if I tried to spell it out in writing. It's not something to be shared, but to be held tightly, like a hand of cards. All I can say is that I'm grateful for everything that's happened, including the events that led up to this month of "me." Just me. Me and my stubborn, arrogant, childish heart. This month was exactly what I needed, and, before things could have spiraled downwards even further, could not have come at a better time. If there are a few pearls of wisdom that I can humbly share, it's these: 1) Don't be afraid of being alone, 2) Read The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, and 3) Be honest with yourself. It's the hardest yet most rewarding thing you can possibly do.

I spent the last few days trying to find something insightful to say about this moment and frankly, I got nothin'. All I know is that lying on a smooth rock, watching ducks swim in lazy circles, sunlight warming cheeks and hands and lips and bones, I was entirely convinced I was the happiest girl in all of Central Park. But then again, it doesn't take much to make me happy these days. Ice cream makes me happy. The color green makes me happy. Peeling off the covers and falling into the untouched, soft coolness that is your bed when you go to sleep at night makes me supremely happy. But yep, I was sure that I was happier than any other being in the whole wide park.

That's all I have to say for now!

FF Segment #8: Favorite Things

Sigg Bottle and Elephant Ears

I went to a bakery in Chinatown recently and had myself a giant elephant ear, Chinatown-style. Ever since, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, so I made myself a quick batch using Pepperidge Farm puff pastry. Et voila! Cinnamon Elephant Ears. These and my fancy Sigg bottle from Gilt Groupe are a real personal treat.

FF Segment #7: Biscotti and Blush

Pistachio and Cranberry Biscotti

1. I had a glass of Rose with dinner tonight. Hence, the red cheeks!

2. Hell yes I just made these pistachio and cranberry biscotti from scratch!

3. I've got pinky nude nails!

4. Going to enjoy these with a cup of coffee now!

FF Segment #6: In Which I Eat Homemade Pasta For the First Time

Homemade Fettucini with Basil Walnut Pesto, Mushrooms and Chicken Sausage

This weekend I took a seat at my kitchen counter, sat back and relaxed, and watched as homemade pasta was made before my very eyes. SO COOL! Kimberly and Joe came home from the CIA to treat us to a happy home-cooked meal and good company. My humble contribution? A bottle of Californian Chardonnay and a Tanzanian Riesling from Nancy's Wines. Yep. Clearly this meal would not have been possible without my extensive help and assistance.

In The Mood

Slow Songs

Chow Mo-Wan: In the old days, if someone had a secret they didn't want to share, do you know what they did? They went up a mountain, found a tree, carved a hole in it, and whispered the secret into the hole. Then they covered it with mud. And left the secret there forever.

Bern

JustJared

Zac Efron and I have the same effin' bike helmet! This Thursday night just got a whole lot better.

Mine is Yours

This album came out a few weeks ago, and it's just...it's just perfection. Especially this song. It fits like a glove. Well, as much as a song can fit like a glove anyways. Hope that was somewhat coherent. Question: when you listen to a song for the first time, are you listening to the lyrics or to the track? I, for one, always end up listening more closely to the lyrics. A good song is nothing if it's not well-written. And this one is just right. Just...perfect. Maybe I'll do a "currently playing on my iTunes" post later since I've acquired a slew of new music recently.

FF Segment #5: Cookies and Reflection

Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

These were absolutely fantastic, warm and chewy in the center, and much easier than I initially anticipated. It's strange to think that my month of baking and frolicking and tippling and yoga-ing is almost at an end. Truth be told, I haven't once looked at my resume, or at a job posting database for that matter. Even when I'm sitting alone on my sofa, reading a book in silence, or when I'm standing in the kitchen, waiting for cookies to cool. The thought of doing so is always at the back of my mind, like a little blue post-it with my own handwriting scrawled on it, but I haven't been prepared to address the task just yet. 

A friend of mine recently likened unemployment to the "Five Stages of Grief," which made me laugh at first, but now I can definitely see the parallels between the two. This month has been a slow process of coming to terms with the situation: what happened (how and why), how I've dealt with it, what my next course of action is, etc. I believe a lot of people tend to fall into illogical patterns of thinking, assuming that it was their fault, their failure. I never once saw it as a moral failing on my part. The situation simply was what it was, and it was time to move on. For me, the scariest aspect of this entire process has been the part where I ask myself what the next step in my professional game plan is. That part is coming up now, but I thought I owed it to myself to have a little fun before I returned to being an adult again.

Anyways, I think I'll finally take a look at my resume tomorrow and make some adjustments to reflect what I've been up to in the last eleven months. But that can wait until tomorrow. First I need to play a few rounds of bingo and get myself piss-drunk tonight!

50 Most Stylish

StyleCaster's 50 Most Stylish New Yorkers

I really enjoyed today's StyleCaster segment documenting the city's most stylin' New Yorkers. Makes me want to amp up my own stylegame some more. Aside from that, nothing new to report on the home front. Oh, I went to yoga this morning and got hit on by a guy named Ivan. Thoroughly amusing, especially since this has actually happened to me a few times before (not with Ivan). Is there something about mussed-up hair, sweaty pits, and a shining face that screams "hello, I'm ready to find Mr. Right, right now"? Or maybe my pheromones are just more pronounced post-workout? At least it gave me a good laugh. I went home, chuckling, to a delicious turkey breast and provolone omelet with a side of salad greens. For the win.

FF Segment #4: In Which I Bake Cookies

Ginger Cookies

Who has two thumbs and just made these dericious (yes, that was on purpose) ginger cookies from scratch? This girlllllllll. Awww yeahhh. After they cooled, I brought a plate of them over to my neighbor's apartment where I sat and played with his dog while he devoured them with a glass of milk. We talked iPads, Parkour (he's been doing it for years), having a job you look forward to every morning, yoga (I'm teaching him balance), and the perfect cookie texture (mine were thankfully up to par!). A great night to cap off the perfect afternoon spent reading and people-gazing along the Hudson River. All in all, I'd say it was a decidedly solid Thursday.

P.S. Yes, that is, in fact, a heart-shaped dessert plate. I have a set in all different girly colors. No shame!

P.P.S. If you read my blog and enjoy the nonsensical things I talk about, 'Follow Me' on Google (to your right)! Do it! Go ahead! I know you want to. Don't be scared, I won't bite. Or at least leave me a comment to pique my waning interest. Yawn.